Are You Now, or Have You Ever Been, a New Yorker?Let’s say you’re a Republican congressional incumbent in mostly rural Wyoming. Your president isn’t exactly Mr. Popularity, there’s a war on, your colleagues are discovering instant messenger — long story short, you find yourself in dead heat with a Democrat in Dick Cheney’s old district, which hasn’t swung the Dems’ way in 27 years. What do you do?
If you’re Barbara Cubin, as the Daily News reports this morning, you film an ad calling your opponent, Gary Trauner, a — wink, wink — “New Yorker.” You also distribute push polls calling him “New York liberal.” (What, “bagel-eating New York liberal” didn’t test well? Oy.) We wanted to see the ad, but, sadly, only Trauner’s side is represented on YouTube. (Liberal New Yorkers, always controlling the media.) So we’ll have to make do with the News’ details description of the ad. Hold on, dear reader, because we’re not making this up.
early and often
John Faso Still Believes in a Place Called HopeWhat do you do when you’re running for governor and trailing in the polls by something like 50 — yes, that’s five-oh — points? You go to Brooklyn to see the Brownstone Republicans, who do not meet in a brownstone. Early and Often’s Jon Dolan was there when John Faso paid a visit last night, trying to convince himself he still had a chance to win. And it gets even more implausible than that. Check out Jon’s take, over at E&O.
Faso Lifts Up Their Hearts [Early and Often]
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Weekend at Alan’sIt just keeps getting harder to be Alan Hevesi. There’s the sick wife, there’s the overzealous chauffeuring, there’s the Albany D.A.’s investigation, there’s the potential impeachment proceeding, and there’s Eliot Spitzer’s withdrawn endorsement. And that’s all only what we knew about last week. Over the weekend, it got so much worse: Turns out he had an oddly enormous — and expensive — security detail. Turns out his aide used government cars to try to impress a chick. Turns out he was uninvited from the Dems’ Election Night party next week. And turns out maybe he was having an affair. Too much to make sense of? At Early and Often, Jon Dolan explains it all.
How Was Your Weekend, Al? [Early and Often]
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Political Endorsements Get Out of Comptroll!Yes, we all know Alan Hevesi screwed up big-time by using a state employee to chauffer his perennially “ailing” wife. But the problem is that his GOP challenger is woefully unqualified. What to do? Today’s Times says go with the unimpressive other guy; today’s Daily News says stick with Hevesi. And, on Early and Often, Jon Dolan suggests we all stick with the News. Why? Dolan explains, both early and often.
Early and Often Endorses the ‘Daily News’ [Early and Often]
the know-it-all
What’s Up With Pirro’s Pigs?
The Jeanine Pirro–keeps–on–truckin’ piece on the front of today’s Times “Metro” section reports that the GOP candidate for attorney general “rides around in a silver Ford Explorer, teasing her staff, chatting about her pets.” What it doesn’t mention is what those pets are — two potbellied pigs, which the paper of record previously described as “pampered.” It reminded us of something that has long intrigued us: Why would you want pigs as pets? And how do you pamper them?
early and often
A Slow Train From N.J. to AlbanyYesterday, miraculously, Christopher Street lost its title as the gay-friendliest stop on the PATH train. And with some sort of gay unions suddenly soon-to-be legal on the far side of the river, one can’t help but remember that those trans-Hudson tubes, like so much else, keep the two states tightly linked. What are the chances of this era of good gay feeling making its way across the George Washington Bridge? At first glance, says Jon Dolan at Early and Often, things look good. Eliot Spitzer has said he’s in favor of gay marriage, and polls show the majority of New Yorkers agree. But it may not be that easy: There is, after all, the Republican-controlled State Senate to consider. It’s all explained at E&O.
Spitzer’s Support for Gays Will Not Be Tested [Early and Often]
in other news
Taxi Fares Rise, and Only the Oil Companies Win
Going nowhere is about to get more expensive. The Taxi and Limousine Commission is set to approve a long-discussed stealthy increase in cab fares. The basic rates stay the same — $2.50 to start, 40 cents per quarter-mile, that infuriating little rush-hour surcharge you never remember as you plop into the seat — but now the cabs will charge more for “wait time,” the minutes spent idling or stuck in slow traffic. Together with the city’s current rash of massive construction and repair projects, this creates a perfect circle: One hand creates gridlock, the other charges you for it. We smell a conspiracy!
the morning line
Alan Alone
• In an all-too-logical development, gubernatorial shoo-in Eliot Spitzer is set to withdraw his support of Alan Hevesi, the subject of yesterday’s scathing 26-page Ethics Commission report. The question at this point is not Hevesi’s survival — he’s done — but whether he can nick Spitzer on the way down. [Newsday]
• You didn’t expect an election involving Roger Toussaint to ease down a civil, sportsmanlike high road, did you? If you did, however, you’ll be shocked to hear that both sides in the race for the transit-union presidency are now accusing each other of outright fraud — quadruplicate petition signatures and such. [amNY]
• The FBI is searching a Greenwich church for child pornography. The alleged culprit is one Robert Tate, the church’s musical director, but what lends the story an extra frisson — and, these days, you need one to stand out from all the other church-pedophilia scandals — is Christ Church’s boldface-name-heavy flock. Not only does it include the Bushes, but George W. was reportedly baptized there. [WNBC]
• Michel Gondry is filming in Passaic, New Jersey, and the Times pulls out some jaw-droppingly patronizing prose for the occasion (“Real movie stars … Nothing like this had probably ever happened in Passaic … nothing like this might ever happen again.”) You promise? [NYT]
• And Apple is cementing its hold on New York by announcing it will launch its third Manhattan store, on one of the city’s dullest retail stretches: West 34th between Fifth and Sixth Avenues. Here’s hoping for a giant glass pyramid, or an army of holographic Steve Jobses, or something. [Reuters]
early and often
Comptroller Candidate Callaghan Is in the Money
Christopher Callaghan — the guy you’d never heard of who’s running against Alan Hevesi, whom you’d barely heard of — is having a good week. Not only is Hevesi’s campaign suddenly imploding, but, even better, his own party is finally getting around to supporting him. What does that mean? Some money. Enough, even, to buy a TV ad! (Well, on cable. In a small market.) Geoffrey Gray has the complete story in Early and Often.
Callaghan Cashes In [Early and Often]
in other news
Hillary in ‘65 or Spencer in ‘69: Do You Think They’re Sexy?
Yesterday’s Daily News brought word that Republican Senate candidate John Spencer thinks Hillary Clinton was ugly as a kid. “You ever see a picture of her back then? Whew,” Spencer said to the reporter Ben Smith as the two flew to Rochester. “I don’t know why Bill married her.” In today’s News, Hillary shot back. “I thought my high-school picture was cute,” she said. Meantime, in Friday’s Times, Spencer pointed out the drastically different lives they led back then. “She had flowers in her hair, and I had a rifle in my hand,” he said, highlighting his time in Vietnam versus her time at Wellesley. All of which raises an obvious question: Who was better-looking in the sixties, Hillary in 1965 or Spencer in 1969? (Do your best to ignore Spencer’s adorable puppy.)
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Alan Hevesi Is Out of ComptrolYou know about the State Ethics Commission’s finding yesterday against comptroller Alan Hevesi in the matter of Driving Mrs. Hevesi, its first decision ever against a high-ranking state official. What you don’t know is that the seemingly mild-mannered and quasi-anonymous public servant might in fact be “the perfect crook with a conscience black as midnight.” Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of Alan? Jon Dolan knows. Read his full brief at Early & Often.
Hevesi Fails Ethics Audit [Early and Often]
the morning line
Comptroller, Comptrol Thyself
• The State Ethics Commission is taking Alan Hevesi behind the shed with a harshly worded, 26-page report on all that Albany wife-chaffeurin’. It says Hevesi “knowingly and intentionally” broke the law and tried to cover it up. Good enough for GovernorAttorney General Eliot Spitzer, who’s starting his own investigation of his ticket-mate. [NYP]
• Get ready to learn as much about sarcoidosis and granulomas as you once did about hanging chads. That’s because government agencies still can’t settle on an official relationship between toxic 9/11 dust and lung disease, and things are about to get very ugly and very arcane. [NYT]
• Move along, folks, nothing to see here: The Port Authority bus terminal is back to normal after a brief shutdown yesterday. A man boarded a Greyhound with one of those enduring fashion staples, a Suspicious Bag; he then refused to get off, forcing cops and bomb squads to flood the area all the way to Madam Tussauds. [WNBC]
• As a perp, Raffin Vellon doesn’t seem to lack for motive: According to the police, he bludgeoned his ex and her son to death, then murdered a super’s assistant, who happened to be Dominican, out of “ethnic hatred.” amNew York goes strikingly Post-ish in its coverage, coining the phrase “Bronx Barbell Murders.” [amNY]
• And transgendered New Yorkers can now use any restroom they want, says the MTA after settling a lawsuit with a snubbed Chelsea woman. Only in New York, kids. [Newsday]
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John Spencer’s Candidacy Finally Explained: It’s LoveAfter witnessing two debates and Spencer’s inexplicable Hillary-had-lots-of-plastic-surgery comments over the weekend, Early and Often’s Jon Dolan has finally figured out why the GOP Senate candidate — barely registering in the polls, virtually unfunded, and entirely unsupported by even his own party — has remained in the race. The dude’s got a crush on Hillary. Dolan marshals all the evidence over at E&O.
Spencer’s Mating Rituals Stuck in Seventh Grade [Early and Often]
the morning line
Remains Remain at Ground Zero
• Searchers found at least 18 more human bones in manholes around ground zero on Sunday, bringing the total of human remains found in the past week to 114. The families of victims are, needless to say, not thrilled. [Newsday]
• Alan Hevesi’s challenger for state comptroller — you know, the guy who pointed out Hevesi was using a state employee to chauffeur his wife — lied on a mortgage application in 1993. Dems push the story, voters yawn. [NYDN]
• At a public hearing tomorrow, the debate over whether to allow a 30-story Norman Foster glass tower on the Upper East Side will likely turn even nastier. Nothing like a little out-of-context architecture to get the neighbors all riled up. [NYP]
• Anna Wintour was named editor of the year by Advertising Age, as Vogue is actually growing while rivals are sputtering. [NYP]
• Episcopalians in Connecticut are now okay with gay marriages. Worldwide Anglicans soon not to be okay with Connecticut, one presumes. [NYT]
• The law firm Milberg Weiss, which has been under indictment for allegedly paying off plaintiffs in more than 150 lawsuits over the years, has managed to attract a new senior partner. Someone will have to run the place if the old partners go to jail. [NYT]
in other news
Ask a Newsstand Guy: Even More Cig Taxes?
New York’s pricey smokes might be getting even pricier, with word in today’s Post that the city wants to raise its cigarette tax — currently $1.50 per pack — by another 50 cents. We stopped by Mushtaf Ahmed’s newsstand, at Third Avenue and 49th Street, where — as a stream of customers stopped by for sodas, candy, and cigarettes — we asked him what this will mean for the city’s smokers.
Do you think you’ll be selling fewer cigarettes?
I think definitely the people who generally smoke less, occasional smokers, it affects them, because anybody who smokes occasionally, they will stop. But anyone who is habitual or addicted, he will smoke. The chain smoker won’t stop, but the people who smoke a little will stop.
Moynihan Station, an AutopsySo what the hell happened yesterday with Moynihan Station, the new, presumed-to-be-gorgeous Penn Station that seemingly everyone wants but never actually happens? Well, as we know, Shelly Silver killed it. But why? Excellent question. And one that turns one’s attention to New York’s politics savant, Chris Smith, for answer. Seems there are many agendas at play, from all the stated ones to an unstated wish to hold things off till Spitzer’s term to win some favors from the new governor. Oh, and there’s more. Smith explains it all over at Early and Often.
Moynihan Station Choked by Political Strong-arming [Early and Often]
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For Tom Reynolds, All Politics Ain’t LocalAh, Tom Reynolds. The upstate Republican is running the Republicans’ seemingly set-for-disaster House campaign effort — at least when he’s not fending off charges he helped cover up Mark Foley’s nontraditional page-mentorship program. Still, he’s feeling confident. “The old saying still rings true: Voters may hate Congress, but they like their local representative,” he said yesterday in Washington. He didn’t note — as Early and Often does — that he’s also down by thirteen points in his own reelection drive. E&O has the full quote and the full perspective.
Reynolds Clings to Apathetic Voting Patterns [Early and Often]
the morning line
Kids These Days
• New York parents keep their kids from starting kindergarten until they’re nearly 6, or even older, all in hopes of ensuring their kid isn’t the “runt of the class.” We suggested last November it might not be the worst idea. But remember: It also increases the chance your daughter is the one who’s first to bring tampons to school. [NYT]
• In other kid-related news, a New York City prosecutor wants parents to put “license plates” on their kids’ strollers so that bad nanny behavior can be reported. But what if you’re the one reported, on nanny’s day off? Awk-ward! [NYDN]
• The debate over nightlife security got even uglier yesterday, with, first, the Bloomberg administration backing away from the City Council proposal to install I.D. scanners and security cameras at nightclubs; second, the New York Nightlife Association raising a hue and cry over the entire thing; and, third, NYNA and NYPD fighting over whether off-duty cops should be allowed to do security. Sit back, get comfy, and watch the fight. [NYS]
• Moynihan Station is officially dead for now, thanks to Shelly Silver. He thinks the current plan to turn the main post office into a new train station isn’t comprehensive enough. He added that he’ll never let Bloomberg build a plan he wants on the West Side, ever. Then he said nanny-nanny-poo-poo. [amNY]
• Rangers lost; Devils won; nobody cared. Those Mets, on the other hand… boo-yah! [NYP]
early and often
Cuomo and Pirro: Love Is All Around, No?Another day, another vitriol-filled attorney-general debate. The latest iteration came yesterday morning in Rochester; it was broadcast locally on Channel 13 at the must-see hour 12:30 a.m. last night. Early and Often stayed up to watch and found that although the event itself contained all its expected fun — you’re inexperienced! you’re under investigation! — the highlight came after the debating was done. What Cuomo-mouthpiece dis did Early and Often label the best dig of the night? Click over and find out.
Pirro Zingers Fly Even After Debate [Early and Often]
Pirro and Cuomo Play the Hits [Early and Often]
the morning line
Like Candy From a Little Leaguer
• Yesterday we told you that Queens assemblyman Bruce McLaughlin was about to surrender on some corruption charges. That was, it turns out, an understatement. The Feds cuffed McLaughlin for stealing a cool $2.2 million in awesome ways and from awesome sources — including Little League teams. [NYDN]
• A report by the state comptroller (yes, our chauffeurless pal Alan Hevesi) says Wall Streeters earn an average of $289,664 — more than five times the city’s average. Even more spectacular, the financial industry’s pay rates grow faster — a shocking 36 percent over the last two years. Of course, someone has to pay for bottle service. [NYP]
• The battle is on for the title of the 300 millionth American (Manhattan’s splendidly named Zoë Emille Hudson is but one contender). The Times raises a great and uncharacteristically naughty point: Why does everyone assume that yesterday’s arrival was born yesterday? And not, say, smuggled across the border? [NYT]
• LIRR is shifting 2,000 feet of track to fix the dangerous gap between the train and the platform at Shea and plans to do the same at other stations. Each year about 60 people fall in; we recall that last month one such victim was a former state senator. Coincidence? [amNY]
• And the Village Voice’s “Best of NYC” issue is out, complete with the ailing weekly’s trademark mix of picks offbeat (Best Aroma Inside an ATM), earnest (Best Bus), and unfortunate (Best Performance Art Space for Dinner and a Movie goes to Monkeytown, which announced its closing weeks ago). [VV]
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‘Esquire’ Endorses, Reconsiders
If you’re anything like us, you take all your political advice from men’s lifestyle magazines. So naturally you were as pleased as we were to discover that the November Esquire offers election endorsements for every race in the country. This is no easy task for a long-lead monthly, which runs the risk that campaigns can dramatically rise or fall between when the issue closes and when it arrives on newsstands. Early and Often notes that Esquire fell into just that trap — but saved itself thanks to the wonders of the Internet. What happened? Over to you, E&O.
Endorsements and Takebacks [Early and Often]
the follow-up
One More Thing About the Pirros: Al Wants Counseling
When Jeanine Pirro’s campaign for attorney general is over — or, to be cruel but precise, once she loses — she’ll be going straight into marriage counseling, at least if her husband has anything to do with it.
New York’s Steve Fishman profiled the Pirros’ increasingly confounding marriage for this week’s magazine, and he found Al Pirro, Jeanine’s wayward husband — by all accounts a screamer, a bruiser, a brusque alpha male — surprisingly wounded and therapized, talking about his anxieties. Al knows he needs to be flattered, to be reminded that he makes more money than Jeanine, to feel generous (Fishman zeroes in on his compulsive need to pick up the check, even for parties of 30). He denies the infidelities that drove Jeanine up the wall (and into the dubious confidences of Bernie Kerik) while readily admitting something even more hurtful to a relationship: that he needs outside female companionship, be it platonic or not, because he doesn’t feel encouraged, admired, or appreciated at home. And he knows the couple needs to work on these issues.
“He was essentially stewing,” Fishman says. “He feels that he’s been shut out, silenced, and attacked, both by the campaign and by his wife personally.” Is there enough therapy in the world to get the pair past all that? Maybe, Fishman says. The real turning point for the relationship, he says, was Al’s tax-evasion conviction. “But it was never a fake marriage. There’s a basis of deep mutual admiration — hell, love.”
Can This Marriage Be Saved? [NYM]
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Pirro, Cuomo Make Us Regret Skipping Their Debate
We didn’t watch Sunday morning’s debate between Jeanine Pirro and Andrew Cuomo — did anyone? — but now we’re pretty sad we didn’t. “When two candidates stand at podiums and list the names of persons both alive and dead their opponent should apologize to,” as Early and Often recounts, it seems like the rare political debate that was perhaps actually worth watching. “The attacks were heavy-handed, light on the facts, personal, visceral, catty, mousey,” E&O continued. And now we’re disappointed we decided to sleep in. Early and Often, thankfully, did not.
A Sunday-Morning Mud Bath [E&O]
it just happened
Air America Declares Bankruptcy; Dog Bites ManAP is reporting — and CNN is giving top placement to — what is likely the least surprising news you’ll read all week:
NEW YORK (AP) – Air America Radio, a liberal talk and news radio network that features the comedian Al Franken, has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, a network official told The AP.
It’s like an anniversary present to Republicans, whose let’s-make-it-harder-to-declare-bankruptcy bankruptcy reform went into effect a year ago next week.
Air America Radio Files Chapter 11 [CNN.com]
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Gov. Candidates Debate; Almost No One Cares
So did you have your TV all fired up to NY1 last night, tub of popcorn by your side, Spitzer (likely) or Faso (ha! right!) banners festooning your apartment? Yeah, us neither. But Early and Often is a dedicated sort; he actually stayed home and watched. What did he discover? An aggro Republican, a harrumphing Democrat, and, worst of all, “dyspeptically public-access-worthy lighting.” Catch all the highlights — such as they were — at Early and Often.
Faso Plays Dennis to Spitzer’s Mr. Wilson [Early and Often]
the know-it-all
What Ails Mrs. Hevesi?Early and Often brings the exciting news that state comptroller Alan Hevesi’s name has received the greatest of honors. It has been verbed. To “hevesi” apparently means “to illegally convert governmental assets or resources to one’s personal use; and, when caught, to offer to make full restitution and public apology.”
It also reminded us of another issue we’ve had about Hevesi’s whole hevesi-ing episode. Namely, that he claimed he’d used the state employee to chauffeur his wife both due to security concerns and also because his wife is — as all the papers say — “ailing.” Why is the comptroller so concerned for his wife’s safety? And, more intriguingly, what ails Carol Hevesi?
intel
Byrne Bikes for BeepManhattan Borough President Scott Stringer organized a big-deal transportation conference for nine o’clock this morning at Columbia University. The point was to talk about government policy — how do we all get around in a continually growing city? — and the folks at Transportation Alternatives had a great way to gin up attention for some transportation alternatives. A group of biking celebs — David Byrne, Matthew Modine, Moby — would join Stringer’s keynote speaker, Enrique Peñalosa, the former mayor of Bogotá, Colombia, for a ride up the West Side Highway to the event.
the morning line
Plane Crash, Gay Bash, and Mary Jo Kopechne
• Not much new was revealed overnight about the plane crash that killed Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle and gave a jolt to the UES. Turns out the hit building’s tenant list is full of semi-boldface names including, weirdly, the Mets’ third-base coach Manny Acta. [NYT, NYDN, NYP]
• In a repellent turn to a repellent story, a suspected racial-bias attack turns out to be a gay bash turns out to be a robbery. Four Sheepshead Bay youths are charged with luring a man via e-mail to a Plumb Beach cruising spot to rob him; the victim broke free, fled, and was struck by a car. Prosecutors say the hate-crime tag still applies. [amNY]
• Rep. Chris Shays, the GOP congressman from Connecticut, achieves the impossible by somehow managing to lower the discourse level of the Foley scandal. How? By bringing up, apropos of nothing, Ted Kennedy’s Chappaquiddick incident. Early and Often’s take here. [NYDN]
• The Columbia Queer Alliance is puzzled by the light attendance of the public-makeout event it staged on the university’s Low Library steps. The turnout reportedly shrank ten times compared to last year’s, despite an effort to involve the shy and the single (who were offered apples to kiss). [Bwog]
• And the Post’s Andrea Peyser unleashes a jaw-dropping attack on “sluttish, revolting monster” Madonna for “raping Malawi” (by adopting an African child). Choice quote: “Madonna has traveled far beyond her… loser antics to grab attention — and flesh.” Don’t worry, a slave auction gets mentioned too. [NYP]
intel
Bloomie’s Lawyer Digs Oil, Cigs, Japanese Food
The corporation counsel is the city’s top lawyer, and Michael Cardozo, who fills this role for Mayor Bloomberg, has a stock tip for you: diversify. According to recently released financial-disclosure forms, Cardozo — formerly a senior partner at Proskauer Rose — has amassed a wide-ranging personal portfolio, holding positions in more than 140 stocks and mutual funds.
Cardozo has stock in Benihana (smart: it’s doubled since last year), Winnebago (also up, but he shorted it), and shopping-mall sensation Build-A-Bear Workshop (where you make your own teddy bears; Cardozo shorted it). He’s also got stakes in several in major defense contractors (Halliburton, Lockheed Martin, L-3 Communications), Big Oil (Chevron, ConocoPhillips, ExxonMobil), and several gold-, silver-, and uranium-mining outfits around the world. Cardozo also holds stock valued between $5,000 and $34,999 in the Tisch family–controlled Loews Corporation’s tobacco subsidiary the Carolina Group (it makes Newports). We’d advise him, given his employer, not to try enjoying that investment in a bar.
— Geoffrey Gray
early and often
Who Are You to Question Jeanine Pirro?
So you suspected your philandering, tax-cheating, speed-limit-averse husband was philandering anew. And so you asked your philandering (with Judith Regan!), corruptly apartment-renovating former-police-commissioner buddy to look into it. And you get caught, because the Feds are wiretapping aforementioned philandering, corrupt, former commish for entirely different reasons. How do you salvage your foundering law-and-order campaign for state attorney general? By releasing a new 30-second spot in which you masterfully play both victim and avenger, and, to top it off, falsely suggest your rival has a plan to offer “amnesty to criminals.” Early and Often has Pirro’s new ad, which leaves “you the viewer … apologizing for even thinking about counting her out.”
Jeanine of Arc [Early and Often]
intel
Who Told You You’re Allowed to Rain on Her Skit?
People may need people, but if they were the type who need George W. Bush — and, in fairness, who knew we had those in Manhattan? — they were very unlucky at Barbra Streisand’s latest farewell concert at Madison Square Garden last night.
It was her first show at the arena since a previous farewell concert in 2000, and Streisand larded it with shtick including a skit starring a Bush impersonator. The bit got mostly applause but also some jeers. After one fan yelled something — we couldn’t make it out, but witnesses suggest it was “Communist!” — Barbra had had enough. “Shut the fuck up, would you?” she yelled back. “Shut the fuck up if you can’t take a joke.” Ah, the art of making art.