1. swimming with sharks
    Federal Investigators Circling Steve CohenSAC Capital gets a subpoena.
    By Jessica Pressler
  2. smelling a rattner
    Steven Rattner: Andrew Cuomo Is Trying to Ruin My Life, Birthday“He has basically threatened me all along the way that if I don’t do what he wants me to do he will prosecute me to the ends of the earth, basically.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  3. the great holiday hedge fund bust
    Man Blows Off Feds, Law & Order Style“We … declined the young gentleman’s gracious offer to wear a wire and therefore ensnare you in their devious web.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  4. FBI Raids Three Hedge-Fund OfficesAnd more could be on the way.
    By Jessica Pressler
  5. white men who can say whatever they want ‘cause they’re old
    Warren Buffett Admits Whole Trickle-Down Thing Basically a LieThe rich actually just like to keep their extra cash in giant piles.
    By Jessica Pressler
  7. white men who have been known to get jiggy
    Bank of England Official Reveals Self to Be Dancing Queen“Chuck Prince’s disco inferno causes murder on the dance floor,” said Andrew Haldane, the Bank of England’s executive director for financial stability, in a speech.
    By Jessica Pressler
  8. smelling a rattner
    Rattner’s Quadrangle to Go Out, Phoenix-StyleThe firm will change names and leadership in the coming weeks, according to the ‘Post.’
    By Chris Rovzar
  9. dr. doom
    Nouriel Roubini Now Adding Jokes to His RepetoireDr. Doom lightens up, sort of.
    By Jessica Pressler
  10. p-money
    John Paulson Buys Modest $3 Million ApartmentStorage?
    By Jessica Pressler
  11. the great american insult machine
    Match the Matt Taibbi Insult to the Public FigureAn afternoon game.
    By Kevin Roose
  12. early and often
    This Is What Ben Bernanke Looks Like When He’s ‘Taking Aim’The Federal Reserve chairman really gave it to China today.
    By Jessica Pressler
  13. golden gods
    Lloyd Blankfein, Sun GodNew book reveals Goldman Sachs CEO has mystical qualities.
    By Jessica Pressler
  14. trends
    Men Who Like To Body Slam Each Other Also Enjoy Working on Wall Street, Paper FindsThey also like holding sticks.
    By Jessica Pressler
  15. the squid
    Cornell Student Has a Little Problem With Goldman Sachs“To put it bluntly, they are assholes. Huge assholes.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  16. made-off
    Bernie Madoff Would Have Been Hopeless Without His SecretariesBehind every successful Ponzi schemer is a woman with index cards.
    By Jessica Pressler
  17. smelling a rattner
    SEC, Cuomo Hit Steven Rattner in Legal Three-Way AttackFormer car czar settles with SEC, vows to fight Attorney General’s “politically motivated” action.
    By Jessica Pressler
  18. white men with money
    George Soros Turning Against Obama?“If this president can’t do what we need, it is time to start looking somewhere else.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  19. payback
    The Yes Men Would Like You to Try to Arrest John PaulsonYou, the citizens.
    By Jessica Pressler
  20. goldmanfellas
    Goldman Sachs Makes 110 People’s DayThe finance equivalent of appearing on the “My Favorite Things” episode of Oprah.
    By Jessica Pressler
  21. if you can get away with it you should get away with it
    Clamoring Public Is Forcing Donald Trump to ‘Really Think’ About Running for President“Would I rather not do it? I would rather not do it. But I am really thinking about it, first time in my life.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  22. mad skills
    Richard Parsons: Let Them Eat PizzaThe Citigroup chair thinks people should just chill out.
    By Jessica Pressler
  23. bons mots
    BofA CEO: Banking After the Mortage Crisis Is Like Fighting in a War Before Weapons“It’s a day-to-day, hand-to-hand combat.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  24. white men with money (on paper)
    Phil Falcone Forced to Find a New Way to Pay the BillsThe financier has to post art as collateral to keep a $50 million roof over his family’s head.
    By Jessica Pressler
  25. early and often
    Republicans Plan Defeat of Successful Stimulus PlanGoddamn if they’re going to let this administration save the economy.
    By Jessica Pressler
  26. white men with deep mediterranean tans
    AIG CEO: ‘This Ship Ain’t Going to Sink’Neither the insurance giant nor Robert Benmosche is going down anytime soon.
    By Jessica Pressler
  27. financial profiling
    Goldman Sachs Will No Longer Clear Trades For Anyone With Less Than Five MillionOr, as they are known internally, dirty filthy poor people.
    By Jessica Pressler
  28. wall street justice
    Peter Kraus Finally Loses Some MoneyRecession finally catches up to man who made $25 million in three months at Merrill Lynch.
    By Jessica Pressler
  29. luluheads
    Tim Geithner Owns Shares of LululemonThe Treasury secretary knows the importance of fit.
    By Jessica Pressler
  30. ballsy crimes
    Rabbi Found Guilty of Trying to Extort Steven CohenMilton Balkany will go to jail.
    By Chris Rovzar
  31. JPMorgan Executive Denies He’s Leaving Because He Is Jealous of Jamie Dimon“When the outside world puts an individual like him on a pedestal and thinks that he’s the only person at the company who has any ability, sure, it can be a little frustrating.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  32. white men with money
    George Soros Thinks This Could Be the Year the Female Condom Takes OffThe billionaire hedge-fund manager might have been disappointed by yesterday’s vote on pot, but is pinning his hopes on the FC2.
    By Jessica Pressler
  33. dramatic flourishes
    Citigroup Would Like Donna Gianell Removed From Juror ListWhy? They’re glad you asked.
    By Jessica Pressler
  34. white men who clearly love sinatra
    Jamie Dimon Hosts Happy Hours in His OfficeJPMorgan may be one of the world’s largest and most prominent financial institutions, but that doesn’t mean the CEO can’t have a few drinks once in a while.
    By Jessica Pressler
  35. fi-cri fallout
    SEC Investigating JPMorgan Over ‘Squared’ CDOThe firm might have allowed a hedge fund to improperly select assets for a CDO.
    By Jessica Pressler
  36. good excuses for bad behavior
    Not Paying Bills May Indicate Insanity, Not Irresponsibility“New research shows that one of the first signs of impending dementia is an inability to understand money and credit, contracts and agreements.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  37. lloyd of our llives
    In Case There Was Any Question As to Whether Lloyd Blankfein Could Be BoughtJust in time for the holidays, an action figure of the Goldman Sachs CEO.
    By Jessica Pressler
  38. made-off
    Madoff Trustee Spends Money to Make MoneyIrving Picard spent $26.9 million to recover $849,000.
    By Jessica Pressler
  39. the oracle of connecticut
    Warren Buffett’s Successor Turns Out to Be Teenage BoyApparently, Warren is planning really far ahead.
    By Jessica Pressler
  40. brushes with greatness
    The Night We Met the Lloyd Face in Real Life, Part IA play in two acts.
    By Jessica Pressler and Bess Levin
  41. money
    What Female Investors WantStarting with “don’t make me feel stupid.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  42. waffles of life
    Greenwich Twentysomething Trades Wall Street for Waffles“The idea clicked when Hoelscher took a weekend off work as a stockbroker at Wedbush Investments in LA to go skiing in Stratton, VT.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  43. the oracle of omaha
    Experts Weigh In on Todd Combs’s QualificationsSheryl Lucante, the maid of honor at his wedding, knows why Warren Buffett picked a little-known hedge-fund manager to run his empire.
    By Jessica Pressler
  44. the toe bone’s connected to the foot bone
    Curious Foot Ailment Taught Powerful Financier Everything He Needed to Know About MacroeconomicsPaul Tudor Jones explains how his plantar fasciitis is relevant to world markets.
    By Jessica Pressler
  45. that’s gross!
    Pimco Chief Advises Geithner While Drunk, Dances in the OfficeBill Gross is “trying to loosen up a bit” lately.
    By Jessica Pressler
  46. boobernatorial candidates
    Kristin Davis’s Wall Street Background Helped Make Her Who She Is TodayThe madam turned gubernatorial candidate is proud of her hedge-fund past.
    By Jessica Pressler
  47. double trouble
    Identical Twin Ponzi Schemers Given Identical SentencesThree and a half years in matching outfits.
    By Jessica Pressler
  48. flattering casting
    Jamie Dimon, John Thain to Be Played by Floppy-Haired Puppy-Dog Types in Too Big Too FailBill Pullman and Matthew Modine take on the roles of the Wall Street CEOs.
    By Jessica Pressler
  49. old crime
    Ponzi Schemer Arthur Nadel Sentenced to 14 YearsInvestors lashed out at the 77-year-old “narcissistic psychopath” in court.
    By Jessica Pressler
  50. the season of the witch
    Wall Street’s Scary SeasonLayoffs abound in the financial-services sector.
    By Jessica Pressler
  51. funny names
    Congratulations, Bum Suk Poo, A. MincerNew additions join list of the most embarrassing names of people on the Bloomberg system.
    By Jessica Pressler
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